Mommy Guilt Trip

Do you feel guilty of everything your kids aren’t capable of doing in comparison to peers? I am extremely guilty of it all the time. I know it is little bit of silliness thinking in that way but that’s exactly how I feel most of the time when my kids miss their milestone.

It’s hard to explain when it all started but all I can remember is that this special trait came into me after becoming a mother. Here are the times or things which made me feel extreme mommy guilt.

  1. My kids were born preemies in 36th week –  Well it started right from here, I guess. I didn’t do anything but since I had twins so it had to happen sometime before 37th week. And to be precise, 90% twin babies are born around close to 35th week onwards. But, I felt guilty that they had to come to this world without being fully developed.
  2. My both kids never got a chance to sleep with me all night in my bed till 6 months – Frankly speaking, people will find me crazy for even thinking like this as in west cribs are the best place to put in little babies safe but that’s not the case in India. We mothers proudly and safely co-exist with the babies by our side and that makes us spend more time with them. But with twins, the best way was to keep them in cribs as they might fall off from the bed edges.
  3. My kids hardly gets 100% of my individual attention –  Theoretically, you should spend one-to-one time with your kids individually but in my case, 2nd child always does something to break my attention most of the time. If not him/her, I find myself looking for the other one to see, if that little guy is safe or not.
  4. My kids have delayed speech – My girl said few words by her 2nd birthday but my boy loves humming without uttering a single meaningful word. I always thought it’s them not catching the language, but few days back I met a stranger mom and she rudely blamed it on me for not talking enough with them. I was bit shaken for a moment but then I realized it was a rude way of communicating. How can someone who doesn’t know me well can display her smartness (her 2-year-old daughter was talking in sentences) by showing me low? I mean even if it’s my fault, I would have never ever discouraged a mom in a similar situation. Well, you can’t expect world to be good to you always. I find myself guilty for it anyhow.
  5. Less fun in arms than on legs – Unlike mom with single kid who do have an option of holding their screaming kids in their arms until they are at peace or calm, I always have to find different ways to divert their attention, so I can avoid a chaotic situation in public. I wish I too can hold them in arms to calm. After all, this is the only age to be like this.

And there are many more such instances which make me feel guilty of crimes which I basically have never committed. I don’t know, if it’s a common trait in moms or it’s unique to few moms but yes that’s how exactly motherhood make you feel at times. You love your kids and you just want best for them and if you happen to miss even a single chance, it fills your heart with ‘Extreme Mommy Guilt’.

Simple Solution to this problem – First, Trust yourself. Don’t forget that it is all matter of circumstances and situations which varies from family to family and can’t be compared. Just utilize whatever time you get with your little ones. Do the best within your possibility. Forget the theory of best mommy guide and just be real mom. Do the best you can do and leave the rest for them to decide later on. Stop comparing your life to others and start enjoying every little bit of you.

P.S – This post is just my real thoughts on mommy guilt trip which I felt personally and could be similar to yours or not. 

Lose Some Tummy Mummy Series : Keep Walking/Running

This is a real life journey of twins mom and her efforts to get back to her shape.

Are you starting to think healthier but having a hard time sticking with these changes?  Good news : You are not alone.

Almost after 8 months from my c-section, I realized that I can’t stand myself in front of mirror. I still have nearly 30 lbs to lose before I get my  pre pregnancy weight. Contrary to most women, I didn’t gained much while I was pregnant but it was after delivery that I was asked to eat good in order to feed well the little twins.  It looks I have taken advantage of that situation to eat any and everything. But now, all the time my mind force me to think, do I choose to look this rest of my life? Definitely NO.

With each and every post of this series, I will commit to stick by my own rules and choose to look and feel better. I will introduce one healthy solution once at a time in my regular routine.

Walk/Run to Lose Weight

Walking/Running is one of the best exercise for people who are keeping really busy in life. As my twins are growing up, they need my help and attention more n more and I find really short of time to manage my family and visitors expectations well. As your family grows, it’s really important to at peace with yourself. If you are a regular reader of my blog then, it can’t get unnoticed that I haven’t blogged for long. Writing a blog is a creative outlet of your personality and I find it really difficult to write if my mind is wandering. Concisely, I mean to say that walking/running is a double benefit for me as well as for you – 1). Exercise 2). Self realization

Since at this stage of my life spending lot of time in gym is not possible, so I started doing walking/running to keep well and lose weight. No hard targets but being regular is my focus. With this thought, I wish luck to you and myself.

30-60 Minutes Of Being Uncomfortable Is Better Than Being Uncomfortable Your Entire Life!

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